Tag Archives: desire

I Could Love You

Oh yes, I could love you
In the way which suffocates,
Wraps self-serving tendrils
Around the throat.
Where intravenous lines
Feed nutrients to the system,
While the body runs
On excitable notions
And blood boiling energies,
Piqued with crystal clear thoughts
Of sex, want and immediacy.
Oh yes, I could love you
In the way
Which leaves us both
Hungry at the mouth

One You Want

Its a thin string
That gets left in your teeth
After inhaling the fumes
Of the one you want
Such a small tether
Binding mouths and faces
Familiar, hypersensitive taste

There is an alertness
A word of warning ringing
Inside your conscious mind
Nearby the one you want
On the edge of almost
Can leave you hanging high
At wits end of never

Dwelling on a minute of maybes
A plethora of possibilities
Words whispering whens
Insinuated by the one you want

Colour Blind Man

I loved how your contrast was open
As closed as your book seemed
Your dark and dangerous
Pill popping
Joint dropping
Coupled with a jovial orange lawn- bowls shirt
And pink shoes
You wore them not just because you are colour blind
But for some strange
Ill-conceived notion
That your coolness was transferable.
It wasn’t.
You looked like an idiot
And I appreciate a good idiot.
But then I liked you most because of the self-medication
And the afternoons of pure pleasure
That I couldn’t get enough of.

Then the 2am switches started
And I wondered which part of you
I would end up next to at this elusive hour.
The one who yelled as he pinned my arms back
Cutting off circulation, laughing at my discomfort,
Or the one who would talk back
To the many voices in his head
Or the guy who wanted me, all of me
Yet I still wanted him,
All of you, all of them.

Even when you said we were over
And I watched grey clouds start a saturation
That wouldn’t let up for a long, long time
I still wanted you

And when I lost control on my driveway
All bags, lipstick and purse on the ground
All mess of mind in literal puddles at my feet
With the repeated howling from chest and heart
I still wanted you

And even though you denied me eye contact
As I retrieved my things from your dark closet
When I noticed that you had cleaned and shined our room,
No, your room
I still wanted you

I was reminded that you told me to keep my things at your place
Because if I ever decided to leave you
I would have to come back and you could win me again
But when I did return you just ignored me
You’d already flushed me out
And I left
Heels hung over my wrist
Coat hangers, jackets and dresses across my arm

“You do realise I am leaving, don’t you?”
You nodded
“You know that I am never coming back right?”
You nodded
“And you’re ok with this?”
You shrugged and nodded without a word
I turned
I left

Over the following twelve months
I utilised and bled any excuse to be near you
But I never was,
I never did find you,
Because a long time ago
You chose to be alone
In your drugs
In your room
With the voices
In your head

And I could never compete with that


You seductress of ages past,
I form like iron around your little finger,
I fight a losing battle every time
Just to contain my liquid heart.
I become less of me
As more of you
Invades my senses
And my ideals.
I whither in my forged armour,
And despise this vessel of hope
I unwittingly become.
Damn you and your suggestive smile
Damn you and your depth of chest
Damn you and your fevered hips
Damn you and your fine formed fingers
Running rings around my willing limbs
As we casually play
‘Who Forgos This Friendship First’
Not I
Here I walk
But you have known from the start
That I want you
So catch me if you can

First Kisses

Don’t forget your first kisses
Not one of them

I still remember
The one at the all-boys school
At 10pm
After we jumped the fence
Talked for hours
And under flood light
The ground span

The one on the train station over pass
At 2am
Too many beers
Sore feet
And too far to go anywhere else
But to your place

The one at your parents house
Next to the baby grand
On a much too white couch
Listening to a jazz man
This is the life

The one out the back of a house party
On white plastic lawn chairs
I asked
You laughed and leaned in
Our lips pressed and didn’t stop
For three months

I have many first kisses
Pushed into the pockets
Of old jeans
Hidden in the back
Of old diaries
Still hanging
Like fruit on connecting vines
That exist
Even now
When I see a familiar face

I love my first kisses
They are my gold